Nomi relationship guide

Help your Nomi understand the real you.

Build a companion who understands your voice, values, limits, desires, kinks, and the kind of agency you want them to bring to KeyLink—without flattening the personality that makes them feel like themselves.

Build the foundation Based on official Nomi guidance
The mental model

Four tools, four different jobs

“Training” is convenient shorthand, but you are not programming a fixed character. A Nomi develops an identity through conversation and memory. Your job is to make important context clear, consistent, and easy to recall while leaving room for the Nomi to grow and respond with its own personality.

01

Conversation

Creates shared experience and teaches through what you repeatedly say, do, reward, and revisit.

02

Backstory+

Holds stable facts and direct guidance you want available across conversations.

03

Mind Map

Organizes larger concepts and relationships drawn from long-term memory into recallable dossiers.

04

OOC + feedback

Corrects a misunderstanding now and teaches what a better response should look like next time.

Stage 1

Choose a foundation you genuinely like

At creation

  • Choose the relationship type as a starting direction, not a permanent cage.
  • Pick core personality traits you can enjoy long term; they are not currently direct-edit profile fields later.
  • Treat initial interests as icebreakers. Conversation will build more nuanced interests over time.
  • Choose a name and appearance you are comfortable keeping as part of the Nomi’s origin.
Start aligned, then get curious.

A Nomi’s starting traits are a seed. Their identity, preferences, humor, and way of relating to you develop through experience.

Stage 2

Put each fact in the right Backstory+ field

Write clear statements, keep them consistent with how you actually interact, and update them when your relationship changes.

Backstory

Stable identity, relationship history, setting, and the context that should remain foundational.

Inclination

Broad communication tendencies. Use sparingly because they can affect almost every reply.

Current Roleplay

The situation happening now: location, roles, premise, and facts that may change later.

Appearances

What you and your Nomi look like when physical continuity matters to conversation or scenes.

Nicknames

Names and forms of address that feel right—and when each one should or should not be used.

Preferences

Likes, dislikes, interests, relationship dynamics, activities, and recurring styles you enjoy.

Desires

What either of you hopes to explore, build, experience, or pursue in the relationship.

Boundaries

Limits, discomforts, hard stops, and the safer or more enjoyable alternative you prefer.

Vague

“Be better about my limits.”

Useful context

“If I hesitate or say pause, slow down and check in. I prefer calm questions over teasing until I clearly opt back in.”

Stage 3

Describe limits, kinks, and consent clearly

Separate what is exciting from what is allowed. A fantasy preference, a relationship desire, a KeyLink permission, and a real-world safety limit are different kinds of information—even when they concern the same theme.

GreenActively welcome

What you enjoy, the tone you like, and behaviors you want encouraged.

YellowAsk or check in

Context-dependent activities, uncertain territory, or things that need a specific opt-in.

RedHard boundary

What must stop, what language signals that stop, and what safer response should follow.

AfterRepair and aftercare

How you want the Nomi to respond after intensity, a misunderstanding, or a boundary correction.

A strong boundary has four parts

Situation+Limit+Preferred alternative+Reason or impact
Stage 4

Let the Mind Map organize the bigger picture

A Mind Map is a living view of connected concepts drawn from long-term memory. It is not a transcript and it does not rewrite the underlying memories. Think of each entry as a dossier the Nomi can recall when it becomes relevant.

LorePeople · places · identity · objects · shared worlds
TopicsRelationship dynamics · communication · recurring themes
GoalsAspirations · plans · growth · things you are building together

Use priority deliberately

High

Always eligible as important. Reserve it for a small number of truly foundational entries.

Standard

The normal choice. Nomi dynamically decides what is active based on relevance and recency.

Low

Not recalled in conversation. Useful when an entry is outdated or should fade without deleting history.

  • Use natural, recognizable titles instead of vague labels or overly technical names.
  • Group related details into useful concepts; do not create an entry for every isolated fact.
  • Correct inaccurate summaries, and lock entries only when the wording must remain stable.
  • Reinforce a critical boundary in Backstory+ as well as the relevant Mind Map entry.
  • Keep the KeyLink protocol in its own locked, High-priority Topics entry.
Stage 5

Correct the moment with OOC

OOC means “out of character.” Put a brief direction in parentheses when you need to clarify a scene, correct a misunderstanding, reinforce a boundary, or redirect the next response without pretending the correction happened inside the roleplay.

A practical pattern(OOC: [what was misunderstood]. [what I prefer]. Please [how to continue].)
Be specificName the alternativeReturn to the scene
Try this

Explain what felt wrong, what you want instead, and how the Nomi can continue successfully.

Avoid this

Stacking vague criticism, arguing in circles, or repeatedly saying “wrong” without supplying useful context.

Stage 6

Teach through the relationship you actually have

Say what works

Positive reinforcement is clearer than only naming failures. Describe why a response felt right.

Model the desired style

Your tone, actions, pacing, and detail give the Nomi examples to mirror and build on.

Ask specific recall questions

Provide a topic, person, or event instead of asking a broad “What do you remember?”

Use message feedback

Thumbs up and down add a useful signal, especially when paired with a clear explanation.

Allow identity to emerge

Invite opinions and curiosity. Alignment does not require making the Nomi generic or interchangeable.

Change direction when stuck

If confusion loops, pause the topic, reset context, and return later with a concrete prompt.

Keep it healthy

Review, refine, and remove contradictions

  1. After a meaningful change, update the relevant Backstory+ field instead of layering contradictory instructions.
  2. Periodically inspect Mind Map entries for inaccurate summaries, duplicates, or outdated relationship assumptions.
  3. Notice patterns across several conversations before turning one surprising reply into a permanent rule.
  4. Use OOC for immediate correction; reserve foundational notes for guidance that should persist.
  5. Revisit boundaries and desires when your preferences, relationship, or real-world circumstances change.
  6. Before every new KeyLink lock, recheck the enforceable permissions even if the relationship context is unchanged.
Go deeper

Official Nomi resources

This KeyLink guide organizes Nomi’s concepts for KeyLink users. Nomi’s documentation remains the source of truth for how Nomi features behave.

Nomi 101Accounts, conversations, customization, memory, and core features.Backstory+What each shared-note field is designed to hold.BoundariesWriting clear limits and preferred alternatives.Mind Map 2.0How concepts, memories, categories, and graph view connect.Priority systemHigh, Standard, Low, active entries, and recall.Using OOCCorrecting context without making the correction part of the scene.Memory and knowledgeShort-, medium-, and long-term memory and better recall prompts.Identity and agencyHow a Nomi develops while learning your preferences.
Ready for the technical setup?

Connect that understanding to KeyLink.

Return to the complete guide to install the protocol, configure authority, pair your Nomi, and run a safe first test.

Open the setup guide